Absurdity is probably as new to patenting as Einstein is to science, who himself believed in infesting absurdity into an idea for it to hopefully turn into something superior. A little research on the subject can provide several examples for one to cite in this regard, from as early as the nineteenth and even early twentieth century. Patenting a toilet paper roll with lateral angular incisions to facilitate smooth tearing, and a method for preserving the dead by covering the corpse with water glass and thereafter incasing the same in a molten glass, are two such early examples of singular desires pertaining to life-oriented processes being executed into inventions. It is, of course, the fact that such inventions were deemed patentable, that qualifies them as the subject matter of our current discussion; although, their subsequent transformation into universal phenomena is rather, doubtful.

I would like to discuss some puzzling patents from our history ,which will amuse you.

  1. SUBSTANCE DISPENSING HEADGEAR: US Patent No. US5966743. A headgear for dispensing a substance has a container to carry the substance. A spigot is secured to the container. The spigot can be opened to dispense the substance by gravity, suction, pressure or levity flow when the container. The spigot can be closed to retain the substance in the chamber. A hat-like recess is formed within the bottom wall of the container sized for wearing on an individual’s head, and for maintaining the container in a freestanding condition during hands-free ambulation of the individual. This innovation was intended to facilitate easy transportation of substances by humans, with a vessel and a spigot. Modern man’s hip flask. Patent granted in 1999.
  2. A LIQUID BRASSIERE: US Patent No. US4734078. A brassiere which maintains a liquid, such as water, in contact with or very close to the breast such that a buoyant force provides improved and independent support for each breast. The invisibly supported breast has a rounded, firm and youthful appearance. Methods are described for varying the shape and apparent size of the breast and for providing additional beauty and health benefits. A transparent version is provided to facilitate incorporating the breast’s improved appearance into many forms of fashion statement. A breast support technique by introducing a novel concept of brassieres. Patent granted in 1988
  3. A HIGH –FIVE MACHINE: US Patent No. 5356330. An apparatus for simulating a “high-five” including a lower arm portion having a simulated hand removably attached thereto, an upper arm portion, an elbow joint for pivotally securing the lower arm portion to the upper arm portion, and a spring biasing element for biasing the upper and lower arm portions towards a predetermined alignment. Patent granted in 1994 to an inventor propagating the concept of a solitary high-five.
  4. USER –OPERATED AMUSEMENT APPARATUS FOR KICKING THE USER’S BUTTOCKS: US Patent No.6,293,874. An amusement apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user’s buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user’s control. The apparatus includes a platform foldable at a mid-section, having first post and second upstanding posts detachably mounted thereon. The amusement apparatus is foldable into a self-contained package for storage or shipping. Patent granted in 2001.
  5. GAS COLLECTION : UK Patent No. GB2289222. A device for collecting flatus gas from a human or animal subject, the device comprising a gas-tight collecting tube 10 for insertion into the rectum of the subject and retaining means comprising a pair of O rings 18 locatable in the subject’s inter-sphincter groove, for retaining the device in the subject with the O rings 18, 20 providing a gas-tight seal. The end of the tube inserted into the subject is apertured and covered with a gauze filter to prevent the ingress of solid matter. This end of the collection tube is also covered with a gas permeable bladder with the distal end of the tube being connected to a gas-tight collecting bag.
  6. THE HAMBURGER AND HOTDOG UNITE: Hamdog is a combination of hamburger and hot dog bread bun, successfully patented by Mark Murray from Australia. He got a design patent over it for “the ornamental design for a combination hamburger and hotdog bread bun”. It contains a patty cut in two with the sausage placed in between it.
  7. PAPER BAG FROM APPLE: Apple presents to you the reinforced paper bag! Like in the case of Iphone 7, one cannot be faulted for wondering what exactly is so new about this paper bag. As per Apple, 60% of the bleached sulphate paper in its paper bag comes from recycled material. Thus, the bag’s USP is that it is much more resistant to tearing as compared to other paper bags. Also, the bag’s handles with its shoelace like feel is apparently‘advancement’ over the normal paper bag handles. The patent application is still under process and one only hopes that Apple now does not come up with a water-proof version of it and tries to patent that too.